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vexing-obsidian:

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It takes a great deal of effort to command me to do anything. If you can supply something of interest to me, I might obey. Horns and cape? Absolutely.”

Turning slowly to be met with a innocent smile that he’d already knew would cause him a great deal of trouble, he tapped his fingers against the material of the leather overcoat that hung past his thigh. “DARCY, I have gotten the nickname for my reputation of having quite the way with words. Good, bad, and simply foul.”

With his steps halting, he nearly scowled. “Jane’s smart enough to know who I am through Thor. I mean, I assume you’re a scientist as well, show me what intelligent wonders go on inside that head.“ 

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‘ what the hell is with you and the damn horns and capes? y’know people make fun of the horns, right? i mean, c’mon, stark calls ya’ reindeer games! and capes are dangerous. to quote edna from the incredibles, no capes! ‘ 

she practically shouted the words at him, chuckling after then raising her eyebrows. ‘ what, you? having a way with words? the guy that used the words ‘mewling quim’ to describe the badassery that is the black widow? yeah, i’m real sure all the girls are swoonin’ for you back home, buddy boy. ‘ she rolled her eyes and smirked at him, mocking the damsel in distress swooning just for his pleasure. 

‘ yeah, that’s my thing. jane’s smart enough to know who you are and might just try and kill you. you’re lucky i’m the one with the taser. and not science. i was the only applicant. i study political science. well…i did, before shield and shit, y’know. ‘

vexing-obsidian:

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 “How sweet.”

Watching her thoughtful visage, he lifted one shoulder. “I seriously would, If it were purely for pleasure and not some self-satisfaction of having a God kneel, instead of vice-versa. Were It my way, I’d have you walking about In nothing but strings of clothing. It’ll give me a nice visual before I slice your tongue clean off.”

He wondered how far she would fly if he were to haul her over the tallest building in this sad excuse for a city. Perhaps she’d grow wings. Rolling his eyes for, what he assumed, the 8th time today, he strolled past her-having tired of the spot he’d been rooted in. “Wonderful, a name with two completely different meanings, one doesn’t need to be a genius to guess what one of them are.”

A air of humorless laughter expelled from his nose at the question. "No, now show me this lab you and Miss Foster hide out In. Maybe there will be something In there that does you justice.“

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‘ what, ‘cause getting humans to kneel for you were for pleasure and not some self-satisfaction about having then kneel? yeah, sure. ‘ she scoffed at him, smirk being hidden at her thoughts. ‘ what if i didn’t ask, but commanded? that totally sounds like something you’d be into. i bet you’d bring out the horns and cape and everything. ‘ 

her eyes followed him as he moved, having to spin on her heel to continue gazing at him. ‘ how’d you even get that nickname? did you prove your skills to daddy in boot licking one day and he just suddenly awarded you with it? ‘ a grin stretched across her face. she was clearly attempting to get him angry. however, to be conspicuous, her grin transformed into an innocent little smile. 

‘ oh hell, no, dude. i’m not taking you to jane’s lab. she’s in there and fuck knows what she’ll think if i walk in there with you. –wait. does me justice? what does that mean? what are you planning to do? ‘

loyalrogers:

Taking the shot, Steve was quick to throw it back,
just barely holding back a grimace at the burn.
He hated vodka…

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“Well, thanks for…’saving my ass’, Darcy, but it really
wasn’t necessary.” A lie that he refused to
acknowledge; he’d been feeling the sadness and guilt
threatening to choke him all night and was truthfully
grateful for the young woman’s presence. “ – Wait,
your ‘Darcy story’? Did I miss something?”

his reaction was caught by her, darcy
having to bite her lip to hide her laughter.
                            ‘ don’t worry, you’re not supposed to
                                  like vodka. it just gets you drunk. ‘

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‘ tell me that when you come up
with a better poker face, then i
might believe you. ‘
she set the vodka glass down on the table,
suddenly turning serious.. 

‘ look, we don’t have to know each other. we just gotta pick each other up from out of the gutter and get drunk and laugh together. that’s it. my darcy story is a fake story that i come up with to introduce myself to people. like this time, i’m tony stark’s long lost daughter. ‘ she smirked, picking up another shot of vodka. 

vexing-obsidian:

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Then I’m more than certain you could’ve dance your way out of falling on your arse.”

Her form of reassurance made him more curious than was probably deemed worthy, ignoring the pink tongue that poked out accusingly at him. “I shouldn’t ask this, but why not? And I wasn’t jealous,” Loki emphasized. “he simply was out too long and I need to preserve as much magic as I can.“ 

His eyes continued on examining her, expression clouded with innocence. "You’ve never asked. Asking is the polite thing to do, mortal, especially for royalty…” A hand extended to tap her button nose patronizingly. “But It’s entertaining for you to assume.”

The obsidian-haired God glanced down, as if the answer would present himself in his trousers. “How did you know? Your name Is quite the mouthful.”

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her arms folded across her chest and she gave him her i’mma cut a bitch look. it then transformed into a sly smile and she mockingly narrowed her eyes at him. ‘ pshhhh. so jealous, lokes. ‘ her whole body then rocked with laughter before she turned back to him. ‘ because i’m not gonna have sex with him when you’re right there. why have him when i can have the real thing? ‘

 her eyebrow raised at him as if asking him to supply a real answer. ‘ and there’s another reason. i could just ask you! ‘ her eyes then shot directly to his, her face formed in her thinking one. ‘ if i asked would you seriously get on your knees? ‘cause i feel like that’d be better than your lil’ guy. i mean, i’ve heard the nicknames they gave you. they were in the mythology book…silvertongue. ‘ she giggled. she actually giggled out loud. 

‘ are my initials actually on…y’know? ‘ her brows rose and she looked down at his crotch. 

vexing-obsidian:

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He watched the oddness transpire right before his very eyes, keeping the mortal’s eye-contact when knowing In the back of his mind he truly shouldn’t. The purring noise she emitted created a stir dangerously close to his groin, along with the devious smile on her criminally full lips that all too clearly suggested she was doing this on purpose made a shadow cloud his features, cursing himself for allowing her to distract him so. “Hardly.”

The clone responded wholeheartedly to Darcy’s enjoyment, brushing the shell of her ear with his lips. It served to draw the line for the Prince of Deceit, flourishing a hand and prompting the duplicate to disappear In a flurry of emerald.  

“Johnlock?” He questioned, but decided to press later on. A single step forwards was taken at the amusement on her features, emeralds darkening a shade at the wink. “I have a few guesses, mortal…That Is, if I were feeling generous enough to return the favor.”

Her loud laughter could easily be contagious. “In large, bold letters.”

she was forced to bite her lip to keep the laughter in. his tone made him sound like he was attempting to hide something. although she had bitten back laughter, amusement was still as clear as day on her face. just as she was exposing her neck a bit more and arching her back slightly, the clone disappeared. she barely caught her balance on time but did manage to stay on her feet after a few wobbles. ‘ fuck you, man. i took dance lessons when i was younger. ‘ 

her middle finger with her sharply pointed nail was showed to him before both hands were placed on her hips. ‘ just ‘cause you were jealous. ‘ she held her chin high and poked her tongue out at him again. ‘ but y’know, you could’ve just said something ‘cause, trust me, i was not gonna end up having sex with your clone. ‘ 

‘ ooohhh! there’s that loki being a generous lover again. but then again…i don’t see you getting on your knees for me because you’re on earth. so. conclusion: generous lover my ass. ‘

she then snorted. ‘ let me guess: in those large bold letters you could only get my initials on it? ‘

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vexing-obsidian:

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“Yes, that must be It.”

The clone happily accepted the role as a wall to lean on for the short brunette, leaning down a bit to borrow his face Into the crook of her neck affectionately. The gesture nearly made Loki snap his fingers and will him away then and there. It would be hilarious to see her fall on her arse..

“I’m…Not familiar with this ‘ship’…But I’m assuming It’s something you of all people made up on your own one day?” It wouldn’t surprise him bit if that were the case, Darcy seemed the type of woman who would be capable of conjuring up her own language.

Watching her debate for those moments, the God awaited patiently before her hand held out to him. Emeralds flickered to the offered hand to seal their lewd deal, hues dancing with both entertainment and unadulterated anticipation for her to hold up her promises. Finally, his own, broad hand extended, clasping around hers with a grin dancing up the corners of his lips. “Your hand, most welcome.” A brow above a eye lowered at the phrase before lips parted In understanding, shaking her hand once.

A grand tour will be promised. As long as you don’t touch anything that doesn’t have your name written on It.”

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a smirk appeared on darcy’s lips at the clones reaction and she deliberately made a sound close to purring whilst holding eye contact with the real loki and continuing to show her amusement on her lips. she then stuck out her tongue at him like a five year old. ‘ aw, is lil’ loki jealous of me because i’m stealing his boy toy away? ‘ she snickered at that. 

her lips then pursed. ‘ nah, i wish i’d thought of something as genius as that. but it wasn’t me. it just sorta…happened one day. people suddenly shipped johnlock. ‘ she shrugged at him, opening her mouth to explain what johnlock was then closing it due to her sudden thought that he probably wouldn’t know who sherlock and john were. 

a devious smile had been held on her lips as he shook her hand, darcy’s lips pursing to hold back her laughter ( a bit of it eliciting anyway). ‘ my hand might be most welcome but do i need to tell you which part of you is gonna be most welcome when i’m done with it? ‘ amusement on her face showed, and she gave a wink to him. 

‘ aw, mischief. are you saying my name is on your dick then? ‘ she laughed aloud that time. quite loud. 

sxpersoldier

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        “Well, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. That’ll
          be sure to bruise his ego, I’ll bet.”

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‘ and suddenly,
captain america is my
favorite avenger again. ‘

vexing-obsidian:

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“Many thanks, I’ve been working on my craft for humoring snarky women.” He retorted at her. As she leaned In, his own visage mirrored partially, verdant hues unwavering as she spoke of her violence.

“Norns, Believe me, I’m familiar with the assassin, quite the spitfi- her and Steven of Rogers are…Fucking, as you would say?” Both brows arched upwards at the light of new information. Whether or not the mortal spoke the truth about the two members, the wheels turned within his contorted mind on exactly what he could use such knowledge for; surely there had to be some level of professional requirements between business partners In a sea of people who haven’t done a heroic thing In their entire life.

Lids blinked a few times at the mental image of Darcy teaching Jane the obscene art of blowjobs. Quiet for a few moments, enough to allow a cricket or two fill the expanse of space. “The moment I open a portal to return there, deal?”

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‘ aw, it’s ‘cause you love me, isn’t it, lokes? ‘ she joked, falling back against the clone again and looking up to him, head falling back to rest on the top portion of his chest which then made her realize how small she was compared to him. 

‘ oh, in my mind they are. i ship it like i’m the damn captain of the ship. not that you know what that means…at least, i think. do they have shipping on asgard? not like the actual ships like the end of relationship who do you want to be together? why am i explaining this to you, okay, nevermind. ‘ the confused look plastering her face that was narrowed eyes and pursed lips transformed into a shrug of her shoulders to herself. 

her lips then pursed again, debating the deal to herself before holding out her hand to him. ‘ deal. but i better see all the pretty shit before giving you that blow job. ‘

vexing-obsidian:

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Mercy, perhaps?” He dared, lips turning Into the threat of a smirk, quirking a brow, watching her eyes examine the length of his leather and metal-clad form.

“For whatever reasons, I’m doubting how hard you can actually punch someone. Blame It on your short stature. Giving yourself a taste of your own medicine? How…Noble.” Loki’s features shifted Into that of mild surprise, leaning away partially. Her bright smile that dimpled her cheeks made was that of a young child on that holiday of Christmas.

But her offer had shattered that Illusion, making his eyes widen at the boldness. “…Why can’t you ever be that generous on a daily basis In my presence?”

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‘ yeah, sure. ‘she responded, sarcastically, ‘ loki, i don’t know what the hell your last name is; poster boy for mercy if you kneel for him. ‘ she then scoffed, arms folding over her chest. ‘ good one, mischief. ‘

‘ okay, so punching maybe not my forte. but a knee to the balls or cervix, i can do. ‘ she narrowed her eyes at him, leaning forward slightly. ‘ don’t fuck with me, loki. ‘cause one of the things you do not do is underestimate a woman. last bastard that did that to be good 500 volts of electricity to the balls. and black widow, you’ve seen her right? guys look at her and go; i aint gonna fuck with that. leave that to captain america (i ship it, don’t judge, lokes). ‘ 

‘ and trust me, if you took me to asgard everyday, you would be getting the best blow jobs of your life. i’m ashamed of jane that she didn’t do that to thor when they went, to be honest. i thought i taught her better than that. ‘

heldentxd:

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“what? why? come one.  I am not the most
conversational kind of guy, nor are you the
most ordinary girl.   though I am totally not
going to say anything similar again because

you asked me to and I respect that. whether
you are a girl or a guy to be honest,” was the

immediate response before he tilted his head,
an amused grin spreading across his features.

“you havin’ a soldier kink goin’ on there or something?

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‘ you’re lucky i’m open minded and that
i’m gonna take that not an ordinary
girl comment as a compliment otherwise
someone would’ve gotten a knee to the balls. ‘
her eyes then rolled and her arms
crossed over her chest. 


‘ yeah, some soldiers are incredibly sexy
and that metal arm is defintely doing
someone for me, buckaroo. ‘